Monthly Archives: January 2011

More Motivation.

I’m on my way….but dangit. This is far away…hahah

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Sailor Saint.

click here to see/vote on teenvogue!

I will use this day to be alone. Be productive. And be useful.

I broke up with the gym since Thursday and cheated on it with mexican food, cookies, ice cream, root beer, french fries, and champagne.

Now it’s time to kick my own ass again.

Also,  just started rereading Romans (one of my top favorite books in the Bible) . I think I’ll find a random and deserted bench somewhere in Phoenix and post up to read a bit, maybe definitely make a peanut butter sandwhich for my homeless friend Carlos that I see every other day at Starbucks.

THANK YOU to all of you who emailed and commented about what is going on in life. A post from a beautiful girl named Janell made me smile.

XX

Sweetdreams.

”Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives.”
-William Dement

Juicy Sweatshirt

Victoria’s Secret Pink Boy Shorts.

I was attacked by a goat.

all I wanted was a nice video to show mom and pop of me feeding a goat, and then it got angry. my inner woman hood still hurts.

click here to see the video.

Jog through January

The start to 2011 has been insistent on making me grow…in mind, spirit, and body. One thing that stands out the most is the changes I’ve had in friendships and learning more and more about who and what we are. I’ve found myself drifting from friendships that had run dry, or even some friendships that had now proven to only be a hindrance. I could no longer stay up all night figuring out why he/she is offended, “hurt”, or mad. I could no longer problem solve for the majority of my day. I could not stand being mentally exhausted over people I truly cared about any more. I was shackled, and it needed to change. It has never been easy for me to let things go, even when it comes to something so small as a beta fish…or uh, taco bell. But I had been trying so hard for people, so hard to gain approval for my passions, who I am…I couldn’t “try” anymore. It wasn’t healthy, and was having even worse affects than my daily burrito in 2010. I’ve learned this year that I need to live. Through this, I’ve put aside people’s opinions of  my working out, my muscles, my fat, my ribs, my boobs, my fashion, my relationship, my social life, and chose to just BE. I’ve finally succeeded in going 28 days living the life I WANT TO LIVE. It hasn’t all been fun. I lost a car,  I lost a job, I lost another friend to suicide, and I lost respect for a considerable amount of people. However, I gained a bike and a new perspective, I gained the ability to talk to over 50 people a day, I’ve realized the importance of making each and every day count and never waste a day in anger or worry, and I’ve gained new respect for my parents. I will never regret being raised poor. I will never regret Daddy working nights and Mommy working all day. They have taught me more than I even realize right now. But it is all coming into play, right now, in this time. I will never give up, I will never just sit and wait for things to come to me, and I will never complain about why things are. I will accept them and make it to my benefit and the benefit of anyone who comes in contact with me. I WILL NOT BE WEAK. This is my momentum for February, and I will choose how I feel, how I act, how I REACT, and I will not give people or circumstances power over my heart or my mind. Thank GOD for finally letting me get it. I learned the hard way, but it is all worth it for the peace I have right now.

The Line Between Health and Death.

With the focus ciaraLE.com has on fitness and a healthy lifestyle there is a lot of photos and goals I have set for myself and have hoped to be an encouragement for you. In saying this. I also want to emphasize HEALTHY lifestyle. While I do challenge my body(and my mind) to extremes at some points, I never have and never will condone unhealthy eating to the point of starvation or to the other end of the spectrum, gluttony. The amount of damage and LIFE THREATENING affects on the body and mind is not worth being ‘skinny’, and for those of us who are emotional eaters(me included), over eaters, or don’t know when to stop, buy a journal and take out your emotions on that, or start a blog to have many many people who can act as your accountability.

Some unhealthy examples of unhealthy extremes:

-This girl says she still looks in the mirror and feels fat. She says that she want boys to like her “flat stomach” and that she likes the attention she gets. If any of you out there struggle with an eating disorder, please seek help IMMEDIATELY. Email me for some local places willing and able to help.

-This woman won’t stop until she is the fattest woman on earth…even if it affects the lifestyle of her beautiful children. Click the photo to read the full story. If you struggle with this sort of eating disorder, there are SO many resources available to you, but you need to resolve to get up and DO it. You feel like the victim, but the people in your life who love you are the ones you are hurting.

Bear Hug Before the Gym

Disclaimer: Please, I had no idea I was holding the bear like that. Accident!!!

This is the cutest little big thing ever. His name is Rupert and D gave him to me and nothing is better for cuddling than something that can go between your legs(FOR LUMBAR SUPPORT) and still hold in between your arms. So soft, so cuddly. Oh, I accidentally thought you could wash these. So for the first week he was soaking wet from the inside out. Oopsie.

Off to the gym for an upper body work out, and hopefully a bit of cardio. I still am having trouble walking from the plyometric leg work out on Tuesday. I’ll keep you posted!

BAHAHAHAHA I die at this.

goofy smiles all around