Jog through January

The start to 2011 has been insistent on making me grow…in mind, spirit, and body. One thing that stands out the most is the changes I’ve had in friendships and learning more and more about who and what we are. I’ve found myself drifting from friendships that had run dry, or even some friendships that had now proven to only be a hindrance. I could no longer stay up all night figuring out why he/she is offended, “hurt”, or mad. I could no longer problem solve for the majority of my day. I could not stand being mentally exhausted over people I truly cared about any more. I was shackled, and it needed to change. It has never been easy for me to let things go, even when it comes to something so small as a beta fish…or uh, taco bell. But I had been trying so hard for people, so hard to gain approval for my passions, who I am…I couldn’t “try” anymore. It wasn’t healthy, and was having even worse affects than my daily burrito in 2010. I’ve learned this year that I need to live. Through this, I’ve put aside people’s opinions of  my working out, my muscles, my fat, my ribs, my boobs, my fashion, my relationship, my social life, and chose to just BE. I’ve finally succeeded in going 28 days living the life I WANT TO LIVE. It hasn’t all been fun. I lost a car,  I lost a job, I lost another friend to suicide, and I lost respect for a considerable amount of people. However, I gained a bike and a new perspective, I gained the ability to talk to over 50 people a day, I’ve realized the importance of making each and every day count and never waste a day in anger or worry, and I’ve gained new respect for my parents. I will never regret being raised poor. I will never regret Daddy working nights and Mommy working all day. They have taught me more than I even realize right now. But it is all coming into play, right now, in this time. I will never give up, I will never just sit and wait for things to come to me, and I will never complain about why things are. I will accept them and make it to my benefit and the benefit of anyone who comes in contact with me. I WILL NOT BE WEAK. This is my momentum for February, and I will choose how I feel, how I act, how I REACT, and I will not give people or circumstances power over my heart or my mind. Thank GOD for finally letting me get it. I learned the hard way, but it is all worth it for the peace I have right now.

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9 responses to “Jog through January

  1. Keep at it, girl. Sounds like the best is yet to come!! ❤ I know you'll continue to kick ass and do it in a ultra chic way.

    • Oh Chris! Thank you my love! I will keep at it! I promise! and I will TRY to keep it chic even though most of the time I just wanna get outright hood! 🙂

      xoxox

      C

  2. Your best post ever.

    It’s always nice to know that you have someone to turn to, to be there for you when you need them BUT there is nothing like knowing that you’re there for yourself. Confidence, passion and determination will take you where you need to go.

    I learnt a long time ago that this is my life. I don’t want to hurt, disappoint or frustrate other people, but I need to follow my path because I refuse to lose myself to other people’s dreams and expectations. Ciara, you’re doing great and no matter what happens never lose focus of the fact that you can do/be anything you want. If people don’t like you or are mean with you, that’s on them. You hold your head up high and do your thing.

    Sorry to hear that you lost a friend (and your car & job – what happened??).

    Love from Paris.

    xx

    • Oh Milla, your words make me so happy! Thank you so much for your support as well as your encouragement to stay focused!

      My friend committed suicide, and it was out of desperation as always :(…it was the 3rd this past year. My car just died and it was time. Lucinda had a good life. But, she was not healthy. haha.

      You are one of the people that keep me wanting to blog. Thank you for being here Milla.

  3. YEAH!! i had to read/respond to this one.

    well said! gooo giiiirl. stay dedicated to what you are passionate about. if you need an ear, i’m here! i understand making LITTLE money/doing what’s difficult in order to pursue what you love. dancers/dance instructors don’t make SHIT, but it sure beats being miserable about life. stay blissful, ciara! 🙂

    • MS. HAILEY,

      so so so good to hear from you on here. I love that you are on the same track. I believe that if more women can be confident and fulfilled being just who they are to the best of it and not straying we would all be in a better place! We are richer than we would be with banks overflowing because we have love, health, and joy. You don’t need much more than that.

      I WILL STAY BLISSFUL, THAT’S A PROMISE!

      xoxox
      C

  4. WOW!! Powerful!! I love you!

  5. you go!

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