The start to 2011 has been insistent on making me grow…in mind, spirit, and body. One thing that stands out the most is the changes I’ve had in friendships and learning more and more about who and what we are. I’ve found myself drifting from friendships that had run dry, or even some friendships that had now proven to only be a hindrance. I could no longer stay up all night figuring out why he/she is offended, “hurt”, or mad. I could no longer problem solve for the majority of my day. I could not stand being mentally exhausted over people I truly cared about any more. I was shackled, and it needed to change. It has never been easy for me to let things go, even when it comes to something so small as a beta fish…or uh, taco bell. But I had been trying so hard for people, so hard to gain approval for my passions, who I am…I couldn’t “try” anymore. It wasn’t healthy, and was having even worse affects than my daily burrito in 2010. I’ve learned this year that I need to live. Through this, I’ve put aside people’s opinions of my working out, my muscles, my fat, my ribs, my boobs, my fashion, my relationship, my social life, and chose to just BE. I’ve finally succeeded in going 28 days living the life I WANT TO LIVE. It hasn’t all been fun. I lost a car, I lost a job, I lost another friend to suicide, and I lost respect for a considerable amount of people. However, I gained a bike and a new perspective, I gained the ability to talk to over 50 people a day, I’ve realized the importance of making each and every day count and never waste a day in anger or worry, and I’ve gained new respect for my parents. I will never regret being raised poor. I will never regret Daddy working nights and Mommy working all day. They have taught me more than I even realize right now. But it is all coming into play, right now, in this time. I will never give up, I will never just sit and wait for things to come to me, and I will never complain about why things are. I will accept them and make it to my benefit and the benefit of anyone who comes in contact with me. I WILL NOT BE WEAK. This is my momentum for February, and I will choose how I feel, how I act, how I REACT, and I will not give people or circumstances power over my heart or my mind. Thank GOD for finally letting me get it. I learned the hard way, but it is all worth it for the peace I have right now.